Fun

I’ve been thinking about fun lately.   I have discovered while having fun can be easy, figuring out what is fun is not.   My trick, now, is to figure out at different times during the day if I’m having fun or not.   It’s simple to say that if I’m making art I’m having fun, if I’m painting trim I am not, but it turns out that isn’t true.   Even if I’m feeling rushed, art is usually fun, unless I’ve reached a point where I’ve run into a wall, then it is agony.   I can be caught in total panic, sure I can’t go any farther, and until a breakthrough comes along I’ll just obsess and grumble, and that is not the fun part.

Now as far as painting goes, it turns out that can be a lot of fun.   I can feel productive and Velvet Underground songs run through my head.   The world leaves me alone, and I am free to think what I want and move along at my own pace.   It gets to be a whole lot less fun if I’m cold or if I have to make decisions.

The more I analyze, though, the more I realize the outside forces don’t have that much to do with whether it is fun or not.   Fun has so much more to do with what is going on in my head.   So today, I’m not going to be telling myself I’m doing things wrong, not doing them quickly enough, or that I should be doing something else.   It is my attitude that has the greatest effect on my capacity for fun, and I can control that.   I’m going to listen to good music, make sure I keep my self as comfortable as possible and keep myself moving.   I’m going to remember that there is no reason to panic when I hit setbacks, I will figure things out.   I’ll get the last of the trim painting and some more raking done.   It will be fun.

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